idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
