If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
