I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
