I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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