You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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