There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
