Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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