Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
