glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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