Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize