my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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