I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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