There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
