we're chasing vodka with high fives
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
