your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
