He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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