Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
it was like eating out sand paper
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
