Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
