jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
