Having a random hookup so left but love u
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
