Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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