This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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