I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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