Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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