you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
