Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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