Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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