Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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