you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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