Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
