the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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