i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
