Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
