So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
