Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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