i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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