Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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