and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
