it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
