Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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