the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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