Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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