i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
