Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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