when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
