Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
