I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
