On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
