I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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