If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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