My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
