The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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