you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
