They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Boobs speak an international language.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
