so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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