I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize