Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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