The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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