Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
